oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
