i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
