My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
