the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
It's just like the Real World with babies
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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