the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
