i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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