Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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