mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
