That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
