I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
