Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
