no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
