So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
