Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
