i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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