Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
