I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
