Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
