North Korea, Best Korea!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
