And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
