who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
