so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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