Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
