the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
