I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
