Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize