your thong is hanging out like whoa
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
