Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Can I color on your dick again?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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