he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
