Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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