feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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