What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
