we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
