I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I don't think brook has ever known best
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
