You're so nebulous sometimes
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
