I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
