there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Fuck appropriateness.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
