Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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