No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
