ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
