Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
