is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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