I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize