im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
