Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
