If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
