The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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