end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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