Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
