If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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