think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize