Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
