What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
