Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
