summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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