So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
