Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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