Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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